You Know You're Mormon If...-its not "the early bird catches the worm" its, "the seminary student gets into college"
-you say "provo", "salt lake", or "palmyra" without the state and automatically assume that the whole world knows where those places are
-there is a son on a mission and mom is pregnant with another.
-you know what a "fireside" is
-You go to a church potluck and there is every type of jello imaginable
-8 kids in a family is "average"
-your 14th and 16th birthdays are the best birthdays of your life
-you think "heck" is the place for people who do not believe in "gosh"
-you know how to pronounce and spell Mahonri Moriancumer
-you know what ZL, DL, AP, PPI, BYC, SYC, YSA, GA, EQP, EFY, YC, CTR, and BYU all stand for
-Modest is Hottest
-Youth Conference, EFY, and Girls Camp are the best 3 weeks of the year!
-mormon movies are amazing and Kirby Heyborne is your hero
-you drive into the church parking lot and at least half the lot is filled with 12 passenger vans
-you "Bless this food to nourish and strengthen" your body before eating doughnuts
-going 24 hours without eating is no longer a challenging thing
-a "Caffeine High" is eating a king size chocolate bar
-pick-up lines are the greatest things ever!
-"How many wives does your dad have?" is often the first question asked when someone finds out that you're mormon
-parents are disappointed if their kid "only" got into Harvard
-buying a prom dress is the most difficult thing of your life
-the "EFY Medley" is your favorite song
-writing in your journal is a daily event
-"I can't...I'm Mormon" has been an excuse on more than one occasion
-piano was your first instrument
-your mom is pregnant at the same time you are
-you have 3 or more BYU sweatshirts/shirts
-John Bytheway is your favorite comedian
-you refer to the Cougars as "we"
-you're the fastest one on the road
-a keg party consists of rootbeer
-BYU has been you're dream school since you were 5
-you either live in, have many friends from, or are from Utah
-"So, what color is your toothbrush?"
-being a "rebel" is drinking Mountain Dew more than twice in one week
-lumberjack, the newspaper game, and ride that pony are your 3 favorite games
-there are more women pregnant in your ward than not
-you consider a great date watching The Princess Bride!
- The laying on of hands has nothing to do with physical violence.
- Your hobby is work for the dead.
-you've ever pushed 120mph in a 55mph zone on the way to a church dance
- You've ever had your alarm set for 4:45 am
- Your first date was when you were 16 to a Church Dance and your parent was a chaperone.
-all your dishes have your name written on them with masking tape
-you think Jell-O is one of the basic food groups
-at least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's house
-you have never arrived at a meeting on time
-you have more wheat stored in your basement than most third world countries
-you've already got your order in for volume 50 of "The Work and The Glory"
-you think it's all right to watch football on Sundays as long as a direct descendant of Brigham Young is playing
-you have to guess more than five times the name of the child you're disciplining
-you automatically assume that BYOB means, Bring Your Own Burgers
-you go to a party and someone spikes the punch with Pepsi
-you arrive to an activity an hour late and are the first person there
-"Oh my Heck!" is your idea of swearing
-before "The Discussion" in fifth grade you think people get pregnant by praying for babies
-You say "the scriptures" instead of "the bible" and people are confused
-You knew how to iron your own white shirts/dresses before you were ten
-Quadruple combinations are passed down through generations
-The best present on your eighth birthday is a set of scriptures with your name EMBOSSED on the front cover
-You are the only person in your high school's theatre department who knows how to tie a necktie . . . and have to do so for every guy wearing one on stage . . . and you're a girl
-An evening's hi-jinks involve "heart attacks" or "forking"
-You go to college and only know how to cook dishes in amounts of seven portions or more
Rebecca and Megan went out to Sue Schaetzka's to a Halloween Party. Megan carved a pumpkin all by herself. It is her first one. Together they brought 5 home. The picture of the guy with the saw was showing how men carve pumpkins-he was not playing Freddie Kruger.
